Rape leaves a permanent mark on the victim's psyche sometimes for many years, disintegrates the "my self" and leads to isolation from the environment. It can also cause a range of psychiatric disorders such as recurrent depression, suicidal thoughts, obsessive neurosis and induce psychosomatic pain. There is no single prescription for a complete cure, but many people have succeeded in regaining their mental balance through therapy and support from those around them.
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The scale of sexual abuse is difficult to describe and measure in statistics. This is largely due to the fact that many crimes or abuses against this background simply go unreported, for various reasons. Behind the veil of silence may be shame, fear or the need to quickly forget the harm experienced. A humiliated woman (although it should not be forgotten that men can also be victims of abuse!) wants to forget the nightmare she has experienced as quickly as possible, while a visit to the nearest police station, the bureaucracy that goes with it and the need to talk about how the incident happened can lead to feelings of helplessness and a new wave of humiliation.
Very often, rape victims react with shock, disbelief or, paradoxically, calmness, which is most often due to the fact that they do not allow themselves to think that it could have happened to them. They repress the memories and try to function as if nothing had happened, although internally they may feel totally numb, dazed and deeply isolated from others. Later on, there are periods when they start to think about rape almost obsessively or are tormented by recurrent memories and nightmares, accompanied by a whole range of negative feelings such as fear or helplessness or anger. The unmanageable emotions often turn into insomnia, anxiety, sometimes morbid avoidance of other people and situations that could revive the traumatic memory. Many women blame themselves for the situation and wonder if the responsibility for the incident does not lie with them, they feel 'dirty', helpless and marked by a stigma - which, after all, they have to learn to live with. Even years later, victims may find it difficult to say "I was raped", as if these words cannot pass through their throat. They prefer to speak of an "unpleasant incident", that "someone touched them" or "they had sex they didn't want".
First aid for rape victims
Women who have experienced rape often struggle with guilt, lowered self-esteem, panic attacks, sleep and eating disorders, concentration problems or problems with social interaction. Many suffer from depression and are also at increased risk of suicide. They often develop post-traumatic stress disorder and anxiety disorders.
The first help that can be given to a rape victim, for which you do not need to be a qualified psychologist, is simple consolation. Quite apart from the search for "blame" and the senseless, but unfortunately quite common, making the victim "guilty" of rape, comments such as "your skirt was too short", "you might not have gone there", "you're exaggerating" should have no place. Even if they are based on genuine concern, they are not justified, will not change the situation and can only further aggravate an already suffering person. The victim needs a listening ear, a helping hand and a mental hug far more than comments about what she should or should not have done and this support may be needed for a long time to come - especially if the victim decides to report the matter to the relevant services.
Some tips for rape victims
First of all, say out loud that you have been raped. This can be frightening and can hardly go down your throat. Naturally, it is not a matter of announcing this information to the whole world or making a big deal about it. It is important to pass it on to someone you trust. It is important to name your problem, it is the first step to being able to deal with it. Approach it as another challenge in life.
Takecare of yourself. Don't blame yourself.
Name your feelings. You can write them down on a piece of paper or your computer. Tell them out loud, the whole story, to your therapist or friends. If you need to, do it repeatedly. Tell in detail how the whole incident happened, how you felt. Describe even what may seem seem insignificant - what coat you were wearing, what the weather was like. Anything you can remember that can be more or less consciously linked to a terrible experience.
Thanks to the internet, you can find women who have experienced the same thing as you. It can be a blog, an online forum, You can start a support group where you talk about your feelings and how you are coping or have coped with them.
Mental health recovery can take months, but very many people succeed and are able to return to normal functioning - among friends, with family, in a good relationship with their partner.
Psychological and psychiatric effects of rape, photo: panthermedia
Each case is individual, each wound needs separate treatment, while one thing is certain - unhealed wounds can fester for years. Of course, there are people who are able to deal with internal bruising on their own or with the help of loved ones, family, friends or a partner. However, in this extreme situation, it is worth overcoming one's own feelings of guilt or shame and going for professional help that can unblock, get rid of bad emotions and learn to live again, perhaps without all the emotional baggage that is rape.
You can also seek first aid through national helpline numbers. Consultants can listen and give practical advice on how to proceed:
- Women's Aid: 1800 341 900 24/7
- Women's Rights Centre: 22 621 35 37
- Helpline for Victims and Perpetrators of Sexual Violence, Foundation for the Promotion of Sexual Health: 22 828 11 12
- Telephone ofthe sex educators' group "POHTNON": pt 16.00-22.00, 22 635 93 92