Victims often make an effort to integrate into the group by trying to build a bond with one of the students. Unfortunately, the others usually, fearing not to be in the victim's shoes, do not develop a closer relationship with them (and certainly not in the presence of the group).

In fact, most of the class wants the presence of the outsider, as he or she reinforces the cohesion of the group (although its members are not aware of it - they all unite around the victim of bullying). Shy people with a history of difficult relationship experiences feel safer in such a situation because they are aware that group aggression is less likely to be directed at them.

Unfortunately, after a certain time, acquaintances outside the class, who used to have a positive attitude towards the victim, considerably reduce their contacts with him or her (who wants to deal with a person who is always feeling sorry for himself or herself or who is always sad and does not want to do anything?). They often find that they have fewer and fewer topics to talk to her because she is either only focused on her own problems or constantly discouraged and weary.

In most cases, parents are the first to notice that their child is not succeeding at school. Some children talk about difficult events at home, others do not want to talk about it for various reasons. However, the mother or father usually feels when their child is unhappy, feels anxious and does not want to go to school.

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So what should they do in such a situation? The most important thing is to have a frank conversation, which is not easy, as parents often react with anger or disbelief when they cannot accept that their child has been victimised. In such a difficult situation, parents need to provide their child with a sense of security, so that they can at least feel secure within the family and know that they are accepted. They should help to free the child from the defence mechanisms used (such as boasting, exalting), as these widen the gap between victim and class (of course, parents must tactfully explain to the child that these behaviours are not good and are of no benefit to the child). It is possible to rehearse various difficult school situations with the child and, after coming from school, to discuss what worked and what did not. It is important to realise that these changes do not usually come quickly. Parents should also discuss the problem with the class teacher and, if nothing changes, consider changing the class.

It would be beneficial for the victim of bullying in this situation to be valued by another group as well. If he/she has any interests and does something well, it would be worth enrolling the child in some extra-curricular activity, where he/she could be appreciated and praised in front of the group.