Contents:

What does ‘coping’ with ADHD really mean?
Why does untreated ADHD lower your child’s self-esteem?
What other conditions often co-occur with ADHD?
The most common myths about ADHD medication
And will medication cure my child’s ADHD?

Every parent wants the best possible future for their child , and medication is associated with illness – something nobody would wish on their child. That is why, when a diagnosis of ADHD is made and specialists recommend medication, the initial reaction is often one of disbelief.

“But my child is managing somehow; it’s not that bad yet.”

This line of reasoning sounds logical. Why interfere and give a child ‘ chemicals’ if there’s no obvious crisis? The problem is that ‘coping’ and ‘having no difficulties’ are not the same thing. A child may appear to function normally on the surface, whilst at the same time paying a high, invisible price for it.

What does ‘coping’ really mean in the context of ADHD?

A child with ADHD facesdaily difficulties that genuinely impair their functioning and can lead to chronic stress, a decline in self-esteem and exhaustion. At first glance, it seems as though they’re coping, moving from class to class and having friends. But their reality is quite different.

A typical day for such a child might include, for example:

Quietly comparing their own efforts with those of their peers and concluding that they are ‘worse’ or ‘slower-thinking’, even though in reality it is not a question of ability, but of concentration.
Hearing adults say, ‘If only you wanted to, you’d be able to concentrate’, which over time turns into the belief that the problem lies in who they are.
Yet another telling-off for forgotten homework and the comment “if they cared, they’d remember”, which gives rise to the thought that they don’t care enough.
A telling-off for ‘having their head in the clouds’ and the silent conclusion ‘I’m stupid’, even though what the child calls stupidity is in fact a difficulty in maintaining their attention.

ADHD is a spectrum, so the severity of symptoms varies from child to child. One thing, however, remains the same: most of their energy is spent constantly monitoring themselves, judging themselves, comparing themselves to others and trying to live up to expectations that are unattainable for them. This has a real impact on their self-esteem and belief in their own abilities.

Why does untreated ADHD lower your child’s self-esteem?

Children with ADHD put in a huge amount of effort every day to meet the demands of those around them, yet they still hear that it’s not enough. That they’re too loud. That they’re not trying hard enough. That they’ve done something wrong again. On top of that, there’s the comparison: “Other children manage somehow, so why can’t you?” Even if an adult stops at that sentence, the child will fill in the rest for themselves: “If others can manage it and I can’t, that means there’s something wrong with me.” They’re not aware that they’re putting in a huge amount of effort into tasks that come naturally to their peers, without a second thought. Over time, they stop linking these messages to specific situations, begin to believe the criticism, and build an image of themselves as someone who will always fall short.

However, this is just the tip of the iceberg. The real consequences of untreated ADHD can include co-occurring disorders: depression, anxiety disorders and addictions.

What conditions co-occur with ADHD?

Comorbid disorders mean that, in addition to the symptoms of ADHD, a child begins to face another challenge at the same time, such as depression, addiction or anxiety disorders. Not every child will experience this, but a lack of treatment for ADHD increases this risk.

Research clearly shows:

Children and young people with ADHD are more than twice as likely to develop depression (Zhang et al., 2023).
Their risk of anxiety disorders, including social phobia, is almost twice as high, and in girls and women with ADHD it is as much as three times higher (Zhang et al., 2023).
People with ADHD are twice as likely to develop addictions and misuse psychoactive substances (Lee et al., 2011).

Do ADHD medications completely rule out these consequences? Not entirely. Depression, anxiety disorders and addiction may still occur despite treatment, but support provided early enough can significantly reduce this risk.

But what if a parent recognises the need for treatment but is afraid?

ADHD in children, photo: phantermedia

The most common myths about ADHD medication

Even when a parent recognises the need for treatment, they are often held back by a fear of medication. Here are the most common myths about them and the facts that debunk them.

Myth: ADHD medicines are narcotics.

Fact: Narcotics taken for recreational purposes cause agitation, intense, unhealthy euphoria and a loss of control. ADHD medicines have the opposite effect – they calm an overactive nervous system, restoring balance and improving concentration and emotional control.

Myth: ADHD medicines are addictive

Fact: The opposite is true. It is untreated ADHD that is associated with a significantly higher risk of using illicit psychoactive substances and developing addictions (NICE, 2019). ADHD medicines are prescribed for therapeutic purposes. When taken under strict medical supervision and at an appropriately adjusted dose, they significantly reduce the risk of addiction.

Myth: ADHD medication changes one’s personality.

Fact: They do not change personality; instead, they reduce troublesome symptoms and allow the child to demonstrate their natural abilities.

Will medication cure my child’s ADHD?

From a medical perspective , ADHD is not a condition that can be cured, as it is caused by a different brain structure over which we have no control. Therefore, there are currently neither medicines nor therapies that can cure ADHD. Medication for ADHD is intended solely to reduce the troublesome symptoms experienced by the child and to protect them from the harmful consequences of the condition. However, the greatest effectiveness is achieved through a combination of appropriately selected therapies, both pharmacological and psychological. Psychological support here aims to provide psychoeducation, boost the child’s self-esteem, and teach them skills to cope with the symptoms.

ADHD is a disorder that cannot be cured, but appropriately tailored therapy can protect the child from serious health consequences. Medication genuinely helps with day-to-day functioning. If a specialist identifies a need for it, do not wait until the situation worsens.

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Untreated ADHD in children — what is the true cost of seemingly ‘coping’?

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