As we all know very well, the family is a system in which each element interacts with the other. It cannot therefore be the case that when something changes in one element, the others function as before. So when one person (even an adult) experiences a problem, the whole family feels it (of course, this also applies to positive situations - for example, many an A in a daughter's or son's school has improved the mood in the whole family).

The struggle with a child's illness cannot be dealt with only on an individual level, as it is both a cause and an effect of the disruption of the whole, healthy family system. The illness affects the patient's interaction with the family, but also the family as a whole, which is why individual family members are often referred to as 'second-round patients' (de Walden Galuszko, 2000). This is not to say that the family functions badly; on the contrary, it often copes very well, which, however, does not go unnoticed by all those who have close ties with each other.

In a family, it is never really one person who falls ill.... The problem affects everyone in close contact with a physically ill family member. Everyone, whether they want it or not, changes their role, their way of life. A lot depends on how long the child's illness lasts - whether it is chronic or a one-off episode.

When the illness is long-term, roles in the family usually change for a long time, or forever. Often, in such a situation, mothers stop working and take the greatest care of their sick child (staying with them in hospital, but also taking increased care of them at home). Fathers, on the other hand, tend to focus on earning more money than before. It is not uncommon for grandparents to join in to help (especially when the mother is in hospital with the child; this is also when the father's domestic responsibilities usually increase). Siblings of a child with an illness usually mature faster than their peers. They often become a support and help for the parents in household duties or in caring for a sick brother or sister. No matter how we involve the child ourselves, he or she feels a different value of his or her role in the family than most of his or her friends.

In almost every family, the relationship between the sick child and the mother is immensely strong, growing even tighter almost by the day. This dyad, unintentionally of course, leaves other family members - namely the father and the other children - in the lurch.

The mother, feeling much more connected to the healthy child than he does to her, does not usually see the problem. Consequently, she does not try to make any changes or attempts to establish closer contact with him. The healthy child then usually moves away from the family becoming an independent and enterprising person, for which he is often admired by others.