Explaining to a child the concept of death from a serious illness is an extremely difficult and delicate problem. It is necessary to adapt our approach to the age of the child. This article describes how death is understood by children in different age groups and the recommended methods of dealing with a child confronted with a serious illness.
Diseases and deaths do not usually 'look' at the age of the person. Cancer affects adults, but it also affects children - the youngest, pre-school, school-age and teenagers. At each stage of a child's life, the way an illness is understood is different.
Between theages of 2 and 6, there is prelogical thinking. The child sees the cause of the illness outside (weather, sun, wind or simply not knowing how it happens). Sometimes he or she also concludes that someone has infected them (a person or an object). During this period, the most important thing for the child is not to be in pain. He is not interested in what the illness is called. He very much wants his parents to be by his side at this time (when they are not there, separation anxiety can occur). It is common for children to regress during this period (e.g. wetting themselves at night despite having previously mastered cleanliness training).
Children 7-10 years old are characterised by concrete-logical thinking. They explain illness through contamination (contact with a sick person, touch, kiss) or external factors (illness localised internally, but causes externally e.g. through ingestion). The magical thinking that emerges during this period makes the child feel that he or she is ill as punishment and therefore has to be saved in order to recover. He or she often experiences the associated fear, rebellion and stubbornness, which usually manifests itself in anger attacks and crying. He wants to talk about his illness, to be allowed to express what he feels. It is very important to him that his illness interferes as little as possible with his duties (school) and contacts with his peers.
From the age of 11, the child explains his illness through physiological and psychophysiological factors (he can, for example, explain that he is ill through viruses that enter the bloodstream).
It is particularly difficult for teenagers to accept serious illness. The independence that is so important to them during this period cannot be realised. On the one hand, they need their parents and on the other they want to be alone - which creates a huge conflict within them. However, if they have a great need for contact, they often do not want to admit it.
