They have a huge fear that their body may be disfigured (for some, hair falling out after chemotherapy is worse than pain and physical discomfort). Having a loved one they often don't want her to visit them and sometimes they break off contact themselves, wanting her to remember them as they were before the disease. They break off, limit contact and then suffer terribly because of it, feeling simply unworthy of the other person. Teenagers - unlike younger children - know what they are missing. They often reproach themselves : "why was I so diligent and didn't play truant?", "why didn't I sleep with my boyfriend?"

During this time it is necessary to be very sensitive to the child's needs. Be there for them when they need their parents (it has been observed that children up to the early years adapt much better in hospital, feel better and find it easier to come to terms with the difficulties of the illness when their parents are with them). If the parents are visiting the child, it is a good idea to teach the child to read the clock to know what time they will be there and to keep it (!).

Physical contact with the sick person and reassurance that he or she is loved as much as before is very important. It is often necessary to unburden the child of the belief that he is to blame for his illness. For school-age children - if possible - it is very good to provide contact with peers, to organise meetings. Knowing what is going on in the classroom gives them a sense of participation.

Parents of teenagers often face difficult transitions in their relationship with their child, as it is usually on them that the child pours out his or her rebellion and anger. By pushing the boundaries of bad behaviour, he wants reassurance that his parents will not leave him. To this end, he also often sends them double messages such as: "get out!", actually fearing that they will not leave him. The teenager usually requires a treatment plan (with details), which gives him a kind of sense of stability.

We will not hide from a child that he is seriously ill or dying. Therefore, it is not worth lying to him that he will go home soon, even though we know that his intensive hospital treatment - if all goes well - will last six months. If a child does not hear that he has cancer from his doctor, parents or psychologist, he will find out from his peers, usually in a less sensitive way than we would like.

The concept of death is formed gradually in a person. Up to the age of three or four, death is a parting for the child, but not forever. They do not understand the concept of "the end", the cemetery or the grave mean nothing to them.

Between the ages of 3 and 6, the child has different ideas about death. He wants to know what comes after death, he asks a lot, he wants to talk about it. It is still a reversible phenomenon for him ("to die is like falling asleep", "it is the same as living, but somewhere else").

Above the age of 6 he starts to distinguish between sleep and death, he refers to animals, fairy tales.

At around 10 years of age, the child begins to understand that death is irreversible. This is when the fear of the dark often appears, which is in fact the fear of death. Death has a form, it is personified. The child often understands in this way: " the sick and the old die because they cannot run fast and escape death". He begins to fear that he too will die. At this age, the child begins to reflect on his or her own mortality and plays with the funeral.

The child usually has a sense of the seriousness of his or her illness and impending death, as confirmed by the words of a 10-year-old boy suffering from leukaemia in Eric - Emmanuel Schmitt's book Oscar and the Rose :

(...) - Aunt Rose, why doesn't anyone tell me I'm going to die?
She looks at me. Will he behave like everyone else? Please, (...), bear with me, don't plug your ears!
- Why do you want to be told when you know yourself, Oskar!

Phew, she heard.
- It seems to me, Aunty, that they would like to see this hospital different from what it really is. As if one only comes to the hospital to get well. And yet one also comes here to die (...)'. (Schmitt, 2004)

A person who is aware of the seriousness of his or her illness usually experiences certain stages of familiarisation. First comes denial and isolation - the person and also the older child do not want to believe the information given to them. Most then react with the words: "No, it's not me, it can't be true".

Negation is a temporary form of defence, after which the patient usually experiences anger, rage, embitterment. Questions are usually raised: " Why me, why not someone ailing, old?". The third stage is bargaining. "And if I ask politely, will I not be angry anymore?" If God or some other force does not return health there usually appears depression which is a huge, hard to bear sadness. And only after that, there is usually reconciliation.

Some children want to be with them at the time of their passing, others prefer to be alone (and often then choose moments when, for example, their parents go down to the café to have a drink). In this one of the most difficult moments, they need support, closeness and warmth, no matter how old they are. This is why it is so important for them and difficult for their loved ones not to despair in front of a dying child, who, although often seems unconscious, receives the message.