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Storms in a teacup, or arguments in a relationship

Anna Pyka

You can read this text in 3 min.

Storms in a teacup, or arguments in a relationship

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The quarrel

I think I argue too often. In a way, I'm a little bit okay with it, but what do those close to me think? It depends how you look at it. It's a well-known fact that with sharper exchanges we can count on hearing what the other person really thinks of us. But on the other hand, do we really need it?

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At first, I think yes. After a moment's reflection, I imagine someone close to me saying horrible things about me. No, I certainly wouldn't want that. That is to say, it's not clear which side to bite it from. We are all well aware that arguing is an integral part of our lives. It is unlikely that we can prevent disputes from occurring. And if something already has to exist, maybe it is better to accept it? I know different couples, different marriages and various other variations of relationships. Each of them is a separate example and at the same time a separate exception, confirming the rule. You can argue for years and still be together. Or you can turn tail after the first argument and withdraw.

photo ojoimages

I don't approve of anything, nor do I condemn anything. After all, no one sets the rules for arguing and no one really knows what it should look like. There is a theory in psychology that says that crisis is a necessary component of development. What does this have to do with anything? Namely that sometimes the old order has to be torn down in order to build something new.

If it is to be torn down, it has to be done radically, i.e. with a decent exchange of views. Then an argument becomes a blessing, like rain after many days of drought. It is a well-known fact, however, that too heavy a downpour can destroy everything. So, as always, moderation is needed. We must not bring out the heaviest cannons against any everyday skirmish. After all, our partner also has feelings. And these can be hurt very easily.