Every person (including the child) usually experiences certain stages of getting used to the problem. First comes denial and isolation - the person, including the little one, does not want to believe the information given to them. Most then react with the words: "No, it's not me, it can't be true". Children often repeat sentences to themselves and others such as "my mum has left for grandma and will be back soon".

Negation is a temporary form of defence, after which anger, rage, embitterment are usually experienced. Questions are usually raised: " Why my mum, my dad?", "why not a stranger, an ailing person, an old person?". The third stage is bargaining. "And if I ask politely, I won't get angry anymore..." If God or some other force does not return life, there is usually depression, that is, a huge, hard-to-bear sadness. And only after that, there is usually reconciliation.

For a child who has lost a loved one, it is very important that other factors are present which previously made them feel safe (e.g. contact with grandparents, a favourite friend, a well-known playground). It is good that no significant changes in the child's life are undertaken during this time, e.g. a new carer (perhaps a family member close to the child could help for a while), going to nursery school, changing to a place of residence that is completely alien to the child.

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A young child is usually greatly helped by the closeness and affection of the other parent. In this respect, teenagers (and especially boys) are in a much more difficult situation, as they reject this type of encouragement from a parent, even though they really need it.

Children often need to shout, to stomp out their accumulated anger. It is not uncommon for them to become aggressive in kindergarten or at school and not to listen to adults. Try to understand them. Talk to them more. Let's play a game or make dessert together, instead of "preaching to them incessantly". And tell the kindergarten or school teacher about the difficult situation so that she or he knows what is involved in the child's misbehaviour (of course, I am not saying that the child should be praised or overlooked; however, a harsh reaction may make the child feel that everything and everyone is against him or her).

Over time, the child (like the adult) will gain distance from the situation. If you are a believer, it is a good idea to pray together for your mother and to entrust your problems to her, trusting that she is your Guardian Angel and believing that the whole family will meet together in the second life.